(from Stars and Stripes)
Once upon a time, there lived a female whose nomenclature was Hood, Red Riding, Little. She was a girl, little, happy. Her duty uniform consisted of the following items: (1) dress, red, cotton, shade 76, 1 each; (2) cape, red, w/hood, 1 each. Her AFSC was food handler.
One day Hood, Red Riding, Little, received a MSG from her mother, grand, old, who lived off base in a cottage, brick, red, Capehart type, w/chimney, wo/TV, initial issue.
The MSG
read as follows:
FM:
Granny
TO:
Hood
This is to advise that
hospital record should read: Confined to qtrs as of 1000, 10 June 69.
Went to sick
call, confined for
indefinite period. However, feeling somewhat better. Love, relative
type, mother, grand,
your.
Hood took the MSG to the message center with the following reply: Ref your MSG. Basic communication complied with. ETA your station approx 1600 hours, local, this date. Please bake cookies, ginger type, w/nuts, wo/icing.
Hood then
signed out in the orderly room and departed home-bound, hand-carrying
the following items:
(a) Basket, picnic, wicker type, wo/top.
(b) Sandwich, salami, w/pickle and onion, wo/mustard
and mayo.
While en route to destination, pers concerned came to forest, thick, primeval. Suddenly out of the thicket, briar, emerged a wolf, bad, big, brown, 1 each, who said, "Halt, who goes there, and what are your last four?"
Hood answered, "4032, Hood, Red Riding, Little. I am on a mission looking for the qtrs of my mother, grand."
"It is just down the road, troop, turn left at Bldg 2355," instructed the wolf.
"How do you know where she lives?" replied Hood.
"I've pulled forest cleanup duty in these parts," says Wolf, who then catches a bus to Granny's.
Upon arrival, Wolf, bad, big, swallows Granny in a single swallow. Wolf, bad, big, then polices up the area, including butt cans, and jumps into the rack (initial issue type) and pulls on Granny's 146-92s.
Hood enters and says "Hello, mother, grand." "The fool, stupid, little, does not know that it is really I, the wolf, bad, big," chuckles the Wolf. "What big EENT you have," exclaims Hood, Red Riding, little.
"All the better to maintain maximum efficiency at minimum cost with Zero Defects," replies the wolf.
THEN...enter the Chopper, wood type, handsome, 1 each, who kills Wolf with one blow, performs necessary surgical procedures to remove mother, grand, from the stomach of the Wolf, bad, big, reflecting credit upon himself and the Woodchopper's Association.
With allowances for quarters and rations, they all lived happily ever after.
Negative as to the Wolf.